The Second Annual Ihbb Awards In Association With Beer Monkey Enterprises

[Beer_Monkey]

Flashing Lights

[Music] In Your Honour - Foo Fighters

Announcer, Ladies and Gentlmen this is the second Annual IHBB Awards, In association with:

BEER MONKEY ENTERPRISES
and

Aphrodites Action Girls
Now Heres your Host, the man with the Most, Beer that is, The man with the plan:

[Fireworks]

BEER MONKEY

[Beer_Monkey]

Thank You Mr Announcer Type Guy,

ID like to welcome you to these awards were we will Aknowlege the true greats of IHBB and slap around some dirty filthy retards at the same time.

So on that note I will move onto the the most fitting award for the first award Best Noob.

For this award will be presented by ME the King.

The Nominations for this award were:

Zooworker
JohnLow71
CapitalRadio2
csrldm

and the winner is

CSRLDM

[Music]

[csrldm] kisses Monkey(I mean who wouldn't)

[csrldm, speech] oh my god, I don't belive it I won an award, I really wish I had a man to share it with me, I only live in a cold place in the US, I rally want a man. Any takers give me a shout.

I love you all

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer_Monkey] WOW what a great start to the awards, voted for by you the viewers at home, its better than American idol, I tell thee.

Our Next award honours some of our true greats, who sadly don't seem to come by anymore, people who make us believe that all noobs are complete and utter Tards. for this award Id like to extend our warmest welcome to our Grand Laibia Vizer/ Crown Prince Lomithrandel.

[Music-Fresh Prince of Bel Air]

[Lomi] Thanks Monkey,(underbreath-I'll overthrow you) your an inspiration to us all, The Nominations for Absent Posters are:

The man who introduced Lesbians to the board, C:nt
The Dwarf Loving, Blondie
Joint Founder of BBVChat, Amazon Bitch
and The Master of all flames, ASM13685

The winner is: ASM13685

[MUSIC] Elton John Dont let the Sun Go Down on me

[Beer Monkey] Sadly ASM could not be here tonight but he sent us this video message.

[ASM13685] Whats up bitches, Sorry I can't be there tonight but Im in Canada and loving every minute of it, nah thats just bullshit. Ive been watching from a distance and I have this to say about every noob. I HATE STUPID PEOPLE.

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] Well the next award honours the true purpose of the site, not spam related but for hard facts, although in many cases the hard facts revolve around Blockbuster staff helping other Blockbuster staff out which seems to be the gist of the site now, we must not forget that this site was designed for customers, just like our next award giver, Please Welcome TrekGirl Everyone.

[Music] StarWars Theme tune

Hi everyone, this award is really crucial to the site, it says that we care about others, and we as people help each other out.

The Nominees for this award are

OzMan




MissHailstorm




oompaloompa




Lomithrandel
And The Winner is MissHailstorm

[Music] Oh My God-Kaiser Chiefs

[MissH] Wow thank you to everyone who voted for me, Its very well appreciated. You are all great!!!!

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] Congrats Hailly, Our first Brit winner of the evening, in such an important catagory, the next award goes to one of the funnymen of the board. Whos the one that makes you laugh until you wet yourself we will find out after this commercial break.

[csrldm]

haha that would have been my speech exactly "thanks, i'm cold, i need to get laid"

[Beer_Monkey]

[Cheesey Music and Cheesy Announcer Speaking over it] Fed up of looking like a Dweeb,

[Small Boy] Yes

[Cheesey Announcer Type] Have you tried Steroids?

[Small Boy] But Sir Drugs are bad

[Cheesey Announcer] No Steroids enhance your body to make you look big and strong and making you irrisistable to the ladies

[Small Boy] Tell me more

[Cheesey announcer guy] Well with Steroids you can go from this

http://ubbt.moby.com/userfiles/1545639-eminem.jpg


To This

http://myspace-377.vo.llnwd.net/00078/77/34/78094377_l.jpg

They make you look big and strog with minimal side effects

[Small Boy] Side effects

[Announcer] Yes some small Side effects, just loss off erection and brain capacity and also your penis will go smaller than 2 inches

[Small Boy] Oh wow I can live with that

[Both] If you aint gettin to put it up any cracks Inject some steroids in your back, and watch the ladies touch your hot musscle mass

[Aphrodite]

Wow. I'm convinced - sign me up for some steroids right now ;)

[URBAN_COWBOY]

c'mon with the damn awards already.:D

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] lets welcome the next DUDE to award the next award, I give you a Noob in SurferDude.

[Music] Surfin USA - Beach Boys

[surfer dude]hello everyone, Im a mere noobie here but i am honoured to be able to hand out such a prestigious award. The Nominees are as follows

Beer_Monkey




JohnLow71




Yousickf'ingbastard




Urban Cowboy




The winner I am pleased to announce is someone who I feel at one with and he makes my day evereyday: Yousickf'ingbastard

[Music] Faith - Limp Bizkit version

Oh yay mother fuckers, read my blog people, read my quote of the fucking week, read my porn pitures, watch me make some sick joke about the Iraqis or mexicans although I prefer them to them go damn canadians, I love you Koi i love hardcore porn I want to thank everyone involved in hardcore porn. make mine a fucking double, beat your kids it makes me happy im one sick mother fucker, can i make love to your pig?

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] Its time to get down to the nitty gritty but first I would like to ask for you all to sit quietly and listen to the musical talents of me and my band the Disabled Zoo, with our song Mans Best Friend:

[loud Crashing noise]

[Beer Monkey] Whaat the fucking hell are you doing you cunt

[Pissed up Drac] why were I not nominated for anything, Im fucking the legendary Wine and Spirits tester.

[Beer Monkey] Youve drank too much Drac you cunt

[Drac] But Why, {Drac thenproceeds to knock over the drumkit and grabs the long haird guitarist in a intamate place, he then realises its not a female and runs off the stage]

[Beer Monkeys band] Starts playing loudly and very badly

[Drac Runs back on stage and MOONS the Crowd]

[Beer Monkey] At least hes doing his job properly I'll be drinking what hes drinkin after the show

[Beer_Monkey]

Wow What the hell happend there, Im sorry but Drac was too good an act to follow, but he does a fine job as my drinks tester, sfter all Im having what hes been drinking after this. Well Id like for you guys to all welcome Wicked Mistress to present the best Porn Poster Gong


[Heckeling]

[b][Wicked Mistress] Wow, whats all your problems, I post in this color cos I want to, it signifys my originality, my rights to post in this color, I hate it when you question why, Im not Pmt'ing im being an individual.

Anyways Im presenting my favourite award, I love looking at these pictures as it reminds me of what I could be doing if I wasn't so misrable. The Nominees are

Yousickf'ingbastard
Koi
Aphrodite
WrongHeaven

The Winner by Default is WRONGHEAVEN

[Music] Boom Boom Boom - Outhere Bros

[Wrong Heaven] Wow, I feel the love people so I got everyone who voted for me this:

EDITED BY CHRISEDGE: Come on now...no porn, nor links to porn except in the adult forum

Just to let you guys know I love ya

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW just WOOOOOOOOOOW Heaven, you are a legend in this part of the world. Our next Award is to be presented by a man of the people, a man with a whole nation and 2k internet behind him please will everyone welcome via satallite link Borat


[Borat] Hello, people in Uk and US, I love to watch you apreciate world beater in many area, this forum fill me with much joy just like when comunisam was finish and kazahkstan was free state. The winner of next award make me think of my kalashnikov and landmine, and my mother who fought with her vagina to make my world a happy one.

The nominee are

Koi Vs Hush Puppie


Beer Monkey and Aphrodite Vs Calipso


Urban Cowboy Vs Wicked Mistress


IHBB Vs Isrealson

The winner is Beer Monkey and Aphrodite

[Music]Danger High Voltage - Electric Six

[Monkey] Boom Boom Boom, let me hear you say wayo

[Crowd] wayoooooooooooooooooo

[Aphrodite] wow the king and queen are popular tonight

[Monkey] You Know why

[Aphrodite] No

[Monkey] Cos we are the King and Queen

[Aphrodite] Ahhh, Id like to thank my mum.....

[Monkey] No one wants to hear that crap

[Aphrodite] Why not...

[Monkey] because Id like to thank my mum, me dad, me grandma, my grandad, my sister, my auntie, my uncle, my friends, my cousins, my dogs, WickedMistress, The Chinchillas, My Penis








TED (member.php?u=471)









ASM13685 (member.php?u=30)







blondie2776 (member.php?u=103)









-pixie (member.php?u=2)







fozzie (member.php?u=213)
















c:nt (member.php?u=41)







Lomithrandel (member.php?u=1343)







Herandar_Luciferag (member.php?u=234)e







koi (member.php?u=2671)









MissHailstorm (member.php?u=1917)







yousickf'ingbastard (member.php?u=2110)









zooworker (member.php?u=2720)







Mr. Cracker (member.php?u=314)









URBAN_COWBOY (member.php?u=1989)







BBASMChick (member.php?u=954)







Jason (member.php?u=256)







AmazonBitch (member.php?u=331)









OzMan (member.php?u=373)







csrldm (member.php?u=2482)









Wrong Heaven (member.php?u=1448)







bbv_superman (member.php?u=192)









tkoehler (member.php?u=495)







feesarevalid (member.php?u=205)









The_Artist (member.php?u=830)







bittybaby6429 (member.php?u=1083)









whorehoppin (member.php?u=1327)







HelloItsMe (member.php?u=233)









Woodstock (member.php?u=1194)

[Lomithrandel]

I call shenanigans! I didn't win anything :|.

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] God Dammit me and aph are good, to present our next award I call up on a true IHBB great none other than the man the legend that is TED,

[Music] Beatles- An Day in the life

You alright everyone, lets do some counting


[With Crowd Joining in]
1

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10

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19

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[Ted]

Now for the award of best Topic, the nominees are

Aphrodite - Ted (showthread.php?t=4289)


Customers say the darndest things... - kh8286 (showthread.php?t=3633)


Real Lesbians - Aphrodite (showthread.php?t=4298)


All Hail the legend... - BM (showthread.php?p=112499#post112499)




The winner is; REAL LESBIANS

[Music] - Lesbians Rock-
Sprout

I'd like to thank c:nt for the inspiration to start this thread, and all the board members who have posted their porn. A special shoutout to Heaven for her input in the early days - Loveya Heaven images/smilies/wink.gif
Thanks to everyone who voted for Real Lesbians, and I hope it will still be here making us all horny in another 6 months

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] Wow The Queen has two awards for the evening, The next award will be awarded by the old man of the board, er I mean young and excitable man, that is OzMan.

[Music] Tie Me Kangeroo Down - Rolf Harris

Thanks Monkey, hope your drinking XXXX tonight rather than cat piss fosters. The next award is for the best flamer the nominees are

Lomithrandel


Aphrodite


Yousickf'ingbastard


Urban Cowboy
And the Winner is:

[Lomi] runs to the stage in expectation

[Ozman] URBAN COWBOY

[Music] AC/DC "Back in black".


[Urban Cowboy]I am so humbled to win this award. It is so nice to be recognized for the hard work I put into the business of keeping n00bs straight and in line. There are so many people to think. First and foremost, to ASM, I have been learned in your ways and could not have continued without your wise teachings. To Monkey, for recognizing my talent at such a young age and allowing me to be the Royal Executioner. To all the n00bs out there, there are so many of you I can't name you all, but thank you for being such fucking morAns. Without you, I would not have a purpose. I welcome all n00bs onto the board so that you may learn in the ways of proper posting etiquette, spelling, grammar and how to not be such fucking idiots. I will always be there for you. Thanks again.

[URBAN_COWBOY]

[Lomi] runs to the stage in expectationthat's funny as hell.

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] Nice One Cowboy, The Next award is to be presented by HushPuppie, who is on location on a 18-30 break in Ibiza(For the Americans this is like Spring Break).

[HushPuppie, With topless ladies flashing for the camera] Well how can this be right, exploitation is wrong i don't look at the porn so why am i presenting this award. I couldn't give a fuck acbout the nominees, in fact I know whos won it without even looking.

*BANG*
[Music] Bad Touch - Bloodhoundgang

[Koi, appears in a big green trenchcoat] and grabs the award off Hushhpuppie who looks mortified when Koi as the new crowned forum dirty old perv, opens the trenchcoat to flash her, and then runs off and jumps in the pool with all the teenage girls.

[surfer dude]

surfer dude loves the attention all will try harder to beat everybody next time. :D

[rk237]

I call shenanigans! I didn't win anything :|.

Yeah really and I wasn't even nominated for anything!! :(

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey]Well its that time of the evening were we have to discuss whos a fucking retard again, and live from a Drug rehab clinic I give you zooworker to award this years biggest retard their prize.

[zooworker] Wow as a person who deals with animals day in day out they felt it was fitting for me to present this award. Although it has been a Unanimous decision this year for this years award it would be unfair not to read out the nominations

The Nominations are

Calipso


WickedMistress


Isrealson


Borat



The Winner is Calipso

[Beer Monkey] Calipso can't be here tonight but lets remember him with some images:

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/aphrodite01/gastucal.jpg

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/aphrodite01/dickhead.jpg

http://myspace-377.vo.llnwd.net/00078/77/34/78094377_l.jpg

[Beer Monkey] Look Kids what you can achieve when you put your mind to it

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] Well lets move on now, The next award is to be presented by someone who was not very popular here at first, lets welcome RK237 and his pet bunny fuzzy.

[Rk237]Hows it going guys, Im glad Im here to be able to present this award. but first off lets put some cyanide down in the kids section. Im here tonight topresent the most original topic. Topics that were way away from the norm. The Nominations are:

All Hail the legend.. - BM (showthread.php?p=112499#post112499)


IHBBOn Tour-BM (showthread.php?t=4720&highlight=IHBB+tour)


Bizziare Pics....- Koi (showthread.php?t=4617&page=1&pp=10)


Dunno Worth a Try - Ted (showthread.php?t=5340)





The Winner is: All Hail the Legend, Beer Monkey

[Music] Longview - GreenDay

[Beer Monkey] FUCKING HELL Im good, Im a legend you know it, I know it the dog knows it. To the people who can't be here tonight youre ace, to my aphrodite, you know it wouldn't be the same without you, to Koi thanks for the porn man you know what people I love you all. Maybe its the beer talking but WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOO

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] WOW Im Ace arn't I, well its time for the penultimate award. I would like to welcome a very special lady on stage for this award to present the best female poster.

Please Welcome Woodstock.


[Music] Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi

[Woodstock] Hey all, hows it goin, it finally seems Monkeys accepted me as a lady even though we got banned from BBSlaves together. So its my delight that i get to present the Best Female award.

The Nominees are

Aphrodite


Wrong Heaven


MissHailstorm


Wicked Mistress
And the Winner is Aphrodite

[Music] Space-Female of the Species

[Aphrodite]I'd like to thank BeerMonkey for nominating me...

[kisses Monkey]

..and everyone else who voted for me

[throws money into the crowd]

A special shout to Oz and Ted for putting me in their sigs....

[gives them a rolex each]

...and YSFB for being the first to vote for me, and to the rest of the guys - you know who you are...

Thankyou ;)

[OzMan]

A special shout to Oz and Ted for putting me in their sigs....

[gives them a rolex each]



You know, as much as I appreciate this rolex, I think it should be pointed out that csrldm gave out blowjobs to her admirers.

I mean, you would think someone would be looking ahead to Wednesday, and at least pass out steaks ;)


...and YSFB for being the first to vote for me

And the third, and the eighth... and... how many ghostnics does that sick bastard have, anyway?:D

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] YEAH aphrodite, well its almost time to go the last award of the night and its to be presented by the Grand Poobah. Its time for Best Male who will it be.

[Music] Vertigo- U2

[Chrisedge] Wow I started this site so people could vent, I never thought it would be overun by Blockbuster Staff but it turns out they want to vent as well. I would like to thank everyone for their input into the site so here goes who will win the Best male.

Beer_Monkey


Lomithrandel


Yousickf'ingbastard


Urban Cowboy



And the winner is Beer Monkey

[Music] My Hero - Foo Fighters

[Beer Monkey] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYY FUCKING HELL FIRE

The guys who voted for me your the real legends here, as your King I want to than everyone, I want everyone to feel a warm tingly feeling inside when the hear my name, when I dpeak to you I want you to think god damn it i speaking to a real life legend here.

You know ever snce Ive been a small chid ive been destined to do somthing great, and tonight Ive not quite achieved it but you guys understand, just utter the words to yourself, Beer Monkey is a Legend or Beer monkey is King it makes you happy, god damn it it makes me happy. At the end of the day the world needs more than Beer Monkey but sadly there is only one

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


Thank You people

[Beer_Monkey]

[Beer Monkey] WOW What an evening all it says for me is to thank everyone for being here tonight, our sponsers

BEER MONKEY ENTERPRISES
and

APHRODITES ACTION GIRLS

Its been a great evening Id like to thank you all its time for us to sing a song

[Music] HI HO SILVER LINING, Led by Monkey and Aphrodite

[Monkey Good night PEople


[Crowd] Applause

[Aphrodite]

You know, as much as I appreciate this rolex, I think it should be pointed out that csrldm gave out blowjobs to her admirers.


Did you not delete me ? :rolleyes:


Maybe you should ask Ted what HE got ;)

[Beer_Monkey]

[Cheesey Music and Cheesy Announcer Speaking over it] Fed up of looking like a Dweeb,

[Small Boy] Yes

[Cheesey Announcer Type] Have you tried Steroids?

[Small Boy] But Sir Drugs are bad

[Cheesey Announcer] No Steroids enhance your body to make you look big and strong and making you irrisistable to the ladies

[Small Boy] Tell me more

[Cheesey announcer guy] Well with Steroids you can go from this

http://ubbt.moby.com/userfiles/1545639-eminem.jpg


To This

http://myspace-377.vo.llnwd.net/00078/77/34/78094377_l.jpg

They make you look big and strog with minimal side effects

[Small Boy] Side effects

[Announcer] Yes some small Side effects, just loss off erection and brain capacity and also your penis will go smaller than 2 inches

[Small Boy] Oh wow I can live with that

[Both] If you aint gettin to put it up any cracks Inject some steroids in your back, and watch the ladies touch your hot musscle mass

[OzMan]

Did you not delete me ? :rolleyes:

Only to make room for a fresher, more relavent sig file


Maybe you should ask Ted what HE got ;)

Well, seeing as he's been "disappeared", I can't very well do that, can I??

What, did you have Tony Soprano put a hit on him or something??

Did Little TED (the ghostnic) also get a bullet to the head??

;)

[Aphrodite]

[Beer Monkey] WOW What an evening all it says for me is to thank everyone for being here tonight, our sponsers

BEER MONKEY ENTERPRISES
and

APHRODITES ACTION GIRLS

Its been a great evening Id like to thank you all its time for us to sing a song

[Music] HI HO SILVER LINING, Led by Monkey and Aphrodite

[Monkey Good night PEople


[Crowd] Applause




...AND HES DONE IT AGAIN :D

Well done Monkey on your second sucessful Awards Ceremony. That was excellent and hilarious ;)

[rk237]

**Applause**

[zooworker]

THanks BM for the great entertainment. Realy enjoyed the show. What is your next production?

[Beer_Monkey]

Whores on Ice

starring Wicked Mistress

[Aphrodite]

Only to make room for a fresher, more relavent sig file




Well, seeing as he's been "disappeared", I can't very well do that, can I??

What, did you have Tony Soprano put a hit on him or something??

Did Little TED (the ghostnic) also get a bullet to the head??

;)No-one is 'fresher' or 'more relavent' than me Oz :cool:

...and I would never put a hit out on Ted or Little Ted - I gave him a present :D

[Wrong Heaven]

Woah, I won? Really :) Neato :)

[MissHailstorm]

Well done, Monkey... this must've taken you ages! :)

[OzMan]

Well done, Monkey... this must've taken you ages! :)


Yeah. What would we all do if the King ever got a life?? :rolleyes:

j/k King Simian. Great job, mate :D

[koi]

That was cool monkey I was surprized I won biggest perv :D

[zooworker]

That was cool monkey I was surprized I won biggest perv :DReally? I new you would win, handsdown.:rolleyes:

[koi]

I thought I would win most informative poster :D

[OzMan]

I thought I would win most informative poster :D

Only if the information sought concerns porn or spam.

Then you are the first name in information. :D

[koi]

Why thank you :D

I do like porn I dont know if you have noticed

[yousickf'ingbastard]

[Beer Monkey] lets welcome the next DUDE to award the next award, I give you a Noob in SurferDude.

[Music] Surfin USA - Beach Boys

[surfer dude]hello everyone, Im a mere noobie here but i am honoured to be able to hand out such a prestigious award. The Nominees are as follows

Beer_Monkey




JohnLow71




Yousickf'ingbastard




Urban Cowboy




The winner I am pleased to announce is someone who I feel at one with and he makes my day evereyday: Yousickf'ingbastard

[Music] Faith - Limp Bizkit version

Oh yay mother fuckers, read my blog people, read my quote of the fucking week, read my porn pitures, watch me make some sick joke about the Iraqis or mexicans although I prefer them to them go damn canadians, I love you Koi i love hardcore porn I want to thank everyone involved in hardcore porn. make mine a fucking double, beat your kids it makes me happy im one sick mother fucker, can i make love to your pig?

thats so not me. and i haven't used quote of the week in months. i haven't said a joke about the iraqis, maybe the mexicans a few times but not the iraqis.

everything else is pretty much correct. :D

hears my impersonation of beer monkey

hardy har har, i like beer, i like beer. look at my gut. i can pop a nickel from my gut to my left eye. wait. what am i doing here? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE! WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME! **burp** now watch me pop this nickel. :p

well gotta go reply to a million more threads..... :D

[Blockbusterblonde]

Fucking Hell, I missed all this.

[OzMan]

Fucking Hell, I missed all this.

You have no idea.

It's pretty much become porn and anarchy. But mostly porn. :D

[Blockbusterblonde]

Shame, I'm more about the anarchy ;)

[OzMan]

Shame, I'm more about the anarchy ;)


See?? Then you could bring a nice balance.

More anarchy and less porn, I always say.

Wait, that can't be right.

Oh, yeah, now I remember:

More anarchy AND more porn. There, much better ;)

[Beer_Monkey]

we need anarchey

[Aphrodite]

not as much as the god forum does :p


I NEVER thought Id say this, but I dont think we need any more porn for a while :EEK: :D

[Beer_Monkey]

I keep forgetting about the god forum

[Aphrodite]

Maybe its a sign :D

[Beer_Monkey]

That its shite

[Beer_Monkey]

but maybe we could turn it into a much more fun place

[Aphrodite]

God Forum Invasion part II, you mean ?

[koi]

I keep forgetting about the god forum

How can you forget about the god forum you are going to hell :D

[fozzie]

Tarrrrrrrr