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Ridge
August 27th, 2006, 08:23 PM
I just came across this site a few minutes ago and I've been laughing my a:eek: :eek: off reading some of the stuff on it.

http://www.actsofgord.com

just to take a few excerts from the site


"What's this about your collection company saying I never returned Resident Evil 2!"

Well, you didn't return Resident Evil 2. Too complicated a concept?

"We returned it the day after we got it right though the return slot on the door!"

Really?

"Yes!"

Who did exactly?

"He did!" (point to friend).

You did?

"Yes."

Care to explain how you did that 2 months ago when that drop slot was only put in on Thursday? Here's the invoice I got a few minutes ago for it. See the date?

<dramatic pause>

"FUCK YOU!" and they storm out.

Note: The reason why they were in was because buddy wasn't able to get a car loan because this appeared on his credit file… And the Gord was satisfied.


I'm phoning about Jet Moto 3 that you have out to let you know it's late."

"That's ok. It's been stolen."

"..err… ok… In that case next time you're down we can pay for the game then."

"I said it was stolen. I don't owe you anything! My mom said that when a game is stolen that I don't have to pay for it."

"No, that's not the way it works."

So his mom gets on the phone (note: buddy here was 19) and goes off on a rant on how they don't have to pay for games that are stolen.

And the Gord notes again that genetic repression is a trait passed from parent to child. Account was forwarded to collections.



So a kid, around 19, signs up a new account. He decides to rent Sled Storm, and then never comes back. Well, ok. Gord left a couple messages to return the game, but no luck.

Eventually the young adult phones and says he returned it. Uh-huh… That's right.

So Gord forwards the account to collections.

One day a few months later this lady walks in and starts yelling about how Gord sent her son to collections and ruined his credit rating so now he can't buy a car or stereo or something.

Gord points out the obvious point that he stole a game and is a poor credit risk.

Then the mother throws the game on the counter and says that the game is now back and I have to fix his credit.

"Ma'am, first off, the game is destroyed. Look at it. Second, I've replaced the game already so I don't want it back. Instead, I seek the money for my cost on replacing it and the late fees he owed. Third, your son claimed he returned it. "

This just sets her off. Something about how it's not her son's fault that he stole the game.

"How is it not his fault?"

"Because I brought it back."

"That excuses the original theft and lying to me?"

"It's not his fault he lied and tried to steal it!"

"Might I ask whose fault it is then?"

Anyway, she starts yelling some more about how her son is never going to rent from Gord ever again. Gord points out that was exactly his point and that he had already closed the account when it was sent to collections. So she stormed out.

The Gord often wonders why people threaten to never come back after they've been told never to return.

igniteice
August 27th, 2006, 08:30 PM
... Dude... no, man. I can't even... wtf... man

yousickf'ingbastard
August 27th, 2006, 08:31 PM
I didn't want to be the first to reply.

no comment

sar94pga
August 27th, 2006, 08:31 PM
... Dude... no, man. I can't even... wtf... man

let it out Ice.....just let it out...:D

OzMan
August 27th, 2006, 08:37 PM
I just came across this site a few minutes ago and I've been laughing my a:eek: :eek: off reading some of the stuff on it.

http://www.actsofgord.com

just to take a few excerts from the site

Cowboy, he's all yours.........

Unfuckingbelievable:rolleyes:

And people wonder why n00bs get flamed.

yousickf'ingbastard
August 27th, 2006, 08:39 PM
Ridge has been a member since 2004 so I'd think he knows what's stupid, but I could be wrong.

The site looks like a hangout for players of Zelda.

sar94pga
August 27th, 2006, 08:39 PM
Cowboy, he's all yours.........

Unfuckingbelievable:rolleyes:

And people wonder why n00bs get flamed.

sadly, he isn't a n00b. i think it is better to say, that some people never learn.

Ridge
August 27th, 2006, 08:39 PM
:confused: Let me guess, posted before?

igniteice
August 27th, 2006, 08:44 PM
Perhaps you should do a search on "gord" eh?

Antithesys
August 27th, 2006, 08:44 PM
Well let's just say this.

I don't know how old you are. But no matter how old you are, the Gord site was around before you were born.

I hope that gets the point across.

URBAN_COWBOY
August 27th, 2006, 08:53 PM
Oh Dear all that is holy and n00bless. C'mon Ridge, this is such a n00b mistake. It is even in my sig. I referrance this site at least once a week on here. I'm gonna cut you a little slack tonight on the flaming (you should be glad I got laid this weekend). However, for this mistake, you deserve this:


DOOR IS TO THE LEFT!!!

yousickf'ingbastard
August 27th, 2006, 08:56 PM
Ridge hasn't said anything but he's still logged in. I'm guessing he slit his wrist with that last comment :(

sar94pga
August 27th, 2006, 08:57 PM
:confused: Let me guess, posted before?

Ridge hasn't said anything but he's still logged in. I'm guessing he slit his wrist with that last comment :(

take the paper bag of your head sweetie! :D

yousickf'ingbastard
August 27th, 2006, 08:58 PM
oh i didn't see that. i guess he's still kicking :D

Ridge
August 27th, 2006, 09:00 PM
Whatever, I've been skimming, (as in quickly reading over a few threads and not reading every post in depth) for a while and never saw that site before. I never even go in the "Other Ranting and Raving" board. BTW, not trying to sound insulting, but it never cesses to amaze me how fast people will jump on others for posting something that hasn't been brought up in about a year.
And by the way *starts talking in an annoying customer voice* "If this is the way all empoyees at this store act, no wonder you're loosing to Hollywood Video." :p

Antithesys
August 27th, 2006, 09:01 PM
Well ya know, there hasn't really been a dedicated Gord thread in a while, and you can never have too much Gord love. So, what the hell.

Gord rules!

URBAN_COWBOY
August 27th, 2006, 09:03 PM
Whatever, I've been skimming, (as in quickly reading over a few threads and not reading every post in depth) for a while and never saw that site before. I never even go in the "Other Ranting and Raving" board. BTW, not trying to sound insulting, but it never cesses to amaze me how fast people will jump on others for posting something that hasn't been brought up in about a year.
And by the way *starts talking in an annoying customer voice* "If this is the way all empoyees at this store act, no wonder you're loosing to Hollywood Video." :pahhh, this has been brought up more recently than in a year. That site is quoted on a regular basis. There is an entire thread dedicated to it. ASM used it often. I use it often. C'mon now, even a little research will get you there.


http://www.ihateblockbuster.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3850&highlight=Gord


a quick search turned up 3 immediate results besides this one.

zooworker
August 27th, 2006, 09:05 PM
Well ya know, there hasn't really been a dedicated Gord thread in a while, and you can never have too much Gord love. So, what the hell.

Gord rules!
I think Gord should be required reading for all retail people.

Ridge
August 27th, 2006, 09:10 PM
I think Gord should be required reading for all retail people.

My thoughts exactly. Sure it may have been posted here before, but with how funny that site is, I think it's a crime that I've been browsing the site for a while and never came across it. And anyways, sometimes it's good to revisit a classic work of literature to see how much or little things have changed.

OzMan
August 27th, 2006, 09:39 PM
:confused: Let me guess, posted before?

Yeah, once or twice.

;)

URBAN_COWBOY
August 27th, 2006, 09:49 PM
I really see Ig responding to a customer this way about a movie:


"Which of these two games is better?" "Is syphilis better than AIDS?"

HardcoreKeith
August 28th, 2006, 08:18 AM
I'm glad you found the Gord. I've told a bunch of people to check it out but no one ever does. Shows you how much clout I have.

cust: Is this movie any good? (holds up "Citizen Kane")
me: Oh god yes. Not only my favorite movie of all time, simply one of THE BEST movies ever made. You should absolutely get Citizen Kane.
cust: *puts movie back on shelf* Well. Maybe next time.

the boy wonder uk
August 28th, 2006, 10:04 AM
Keith the only trouble with Gord is it is addictive.

I found about the site a few years ago and loved it the.

Does it remind anyone else of Clerks?

Blockbusted
August 28th, 2006, 10:48 AM
I know the name Gord can be used anywhere, but I think he's on a video gaming board that I go to.

I'm not just thinking he stole the screen name, I'm thinking he is the actual Gord.

My only evidence so far? He lives in Canada.

That's all I got, but I'm getting further into the "Is this the real Gord?" every time I feel like it.

Andrew-

Antithesys
August 28th, 2006, 03:21 PM
Well everyone named Gord is a Canadian, so it doesn't narrow it down.

igniteice
August 28th, 2006, 03:43 PM
I really see Ig responding to a customer this way about a movie:


"Which of these two games is better?" "Is syphilis better than AIDS?"

Customer once asked me why we put one movie over another on the movie pass, one she ended up turning in late. I told her it's on the receipt which one is paid for and which one is on the pass. She said to me that we choose which one goes on the pass. I told her I have no idea how it works (at the time I didn't, now I know it's whichever one is scanned first - nonetheless, if they don't tell me which one to put on the pass... usually I put the 2-day, but if they're being assholes...)

Anyway, she holds up two cases and asks me, "Which one of these would be on the movie pass, huh? Huh? Well, which one? Do you know?"

I looked at her and said, "Well, that one would be, because this other one is a game."

She told me not to be a "smartass" and told me I "knew what [she] meant" and then promptly cancelled her movie pass.

Typical Friday/Saturday night:

C: Which of these five movies should I get?
Me: None of them.
C: Uh, what?
Me: They were all terrible.
C: ...

wazootybob
August 28th, 2006, 03:52 PM
Shows you how much clout I have.

cust: Is this movie any good? (holds up "Citizen Kane")
me: Oh god yes. Not only my favorite movie of all time, simply one of THE BEST movies ever made. You should absolutely get Citizen Kane.
cust: *puts movie back on shelf* Well. Maybe next time.

All your recommendations go on my 1st viewing list. Unlike others I may mention. . . :rolleyes:

SL_600
August 28th, 2006, 04:17 PM
...the only trouble with Gord is it is addictive.

It is very addictive and spot-on with observations. At one time I was seriously thinking of developing a screenplay using many of the scenarios from that site along with my own experiences. Then I thought, too many people know about Gord and I don't wanna be called out as a hack by someone in the know. :p

HardcoreKeith
August 28th, 2006, 06:30 PM
All your recommendations go on my 1st viewing list. Unlike others I may mention. . . :rolleyes:

I upgraded you to 1st list status at some point but you haven't recommended me anything in a while. So get on it.