Memo to all employees from Jim Keyes
 

This was in Box Office this morning.

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M e m o r a n d u m

To: All Employees


From: Jim Keyes

Date: April 1, 2011

Subject: Completion of Initial Bidding Process

As most of you know, March 31st was yet another major milestone as we continue the restructuring process and transitioning Blockbuster to new ownership. We are pleased to confirm that several bids have been received and are being evaluated in preparation for the auction scheduled to commence at 10:00 a.m. EST on April 4th. Until this review is completed, we will not have an accurate count of the total number of qualifying bids received, but we are pleased with the level of interest from both financial and strategic bidders.

The process of restructuring our company has been a long and sometimes rocky process spanning more than a year, and I know that all of us are anxious to see the hard work and dedication you’ve displayed come to fruition. The process is almost over and the entire management team continues to work diligently to ensure that you are kept up-to-date on the activities as they transpire over the next week.

Thank you for your continued focus and support of our business throughout the transition despite the media and rumors which have surrounded it.

Jim

As Bugs Bunny would say...
"Ah, I see. Pronoun trouble." :D

I printed this out at my store just to add "April Fools" at the bottom.

If it were really a Keyes memo, it'd have said:

Attention All Employees

The company's sale does not mean we will stop carrying pickles.

Sincerely,

Jim Keyes

Note from Jim Keyes

To all those losing their jobs know that I feel your pain.

PSYCHE!! Thanks for the bonus money, bitches!!!

Please accept this free pickle as a token of thank you for all your hard work.

It's a shame I don't know his home address so I can UPS all the pickles in the store to his home on the last day if we're liquidated.

I don't imagine it'd be that hard to find. Although if you do find it, don't let me know. We already know corporate A-Knows who I am, and B- will investigate it's findings. The last thing I want is BBV Corporate to come back into my life just because Keyes finds a 7-11's worth of pickles in his 24 carat gold, diamond encrusted mailbox, checked on by his $1,000 an hour cabana boy wearing Dolce and pressing on the accelerator of his platinum covered Batmobile with diamond encrusted flip flops our raises all paid for.

I'll write "This is for deathbydanny since he couldn't send you one himself" on one of the pickles. Would you like it to be a Hot Mama or a Big Daddy?

A guy sending another guy a pickle would have to be a Big Daddy wouldn't it?

Disclaimer: The above reference is only meant to be a joke and not imply the sexual orientation of any party involved!

Who'd have thought sending a pickle makes one sound like a mail order pimp?