Customers say the DARNDEST things! (Part 4)

[Ghost of AtlanticVamp]

I read in another thread about how certain customers can't figure out where the New Release WALL is. I can assure you that some folks honestly couldn't tell you where our walls are.

C:Where can I find the new stuff?

Me:On the new release wall.

C:Where's that?

Me:On the wall.

However, I have had an interesting interlude with a customer the other day that is actually noteworthy.

A little backstory: We did rather poorly on a couple of Mystery Shops (mostly over things we forgot, like upsells and current promotions), so my SM made printed out a results form from one of our bad shops. We've been getting good shops ever since. Sometimes we just need a refresher.

Anywho, a customer came in while I was alone and had no other customers in the store. Immediately, he starts running down the list:

C: What was your major title this week?
Me: What Happens in Vegas. It's right there, where the (tentpole) sign is.
C: Okay, what's it about?
Me: (Brief synopsis)
C: Okay....where's the bathroom?
Me: Right through that door; here's the key.
C: No, that's okay. (Wanders around with What Happens In Vegas in his hand.) What's your snack specials?
Me: (Since it was last week, I tell him about 2/$2.49 Hershey's, 2/$4 bagged candy, 2/2.22 Coke products, 2/$2.99 buckets and 2/$1.69 popcorn packets.)
C: Okay... (And gets none. Came to check out.)
Me: (Remembered to do the nine-step checkout.)
C: What's your name again? (Searches out my nametag, which is printed in huge bold letters. Sounds my name out.)
Me: Yes, sir, that's me.
C: When are these due?
Me: Tuesday, by close.
C: Okay....so does the parking go all the way around?
Me: (stifling a giggle) Yes, sir, it does.

It was no shock when I got a call yesterday from my SM congratulating me on a good Mystery Shop.

[3.5starCSR]

I didn't know stores were still getting shopped, ours hasn't been for a loooong time.

But I sure hated them...even though our dm would give us a few days noticed so we could be "prepared". It was fun to size all the unfamiliar the customers up and try to guess who it was.

[The Omen]

usually one mystery shopper would do the whole district, as soon as we realized who it was we marked their account like crazy...

[Ghost of AtlanticVamp]

1st phone call:

Cust: Are you the manager?
Me: Yes, I am, how may I help you?
Cust: Well, I am being charged 32.09 from my bank account and have been since July. I don't understand why. Can you look up the account for me?
Me: Sure. (Get account info)

Nothing. No history, as the account hasn't been used since June. No charges. Nada damn thing.

Me: Ma'am, there doesn't appear to be anything on the account. Are you sure someone hasn't had access to your account?
Cust: No ma'am!

About an hour later, she shows up. We hash it out some more, including letting her look at the history on the account.

And then...epiphany!

Cust, sheepishly:....oh, yeah...I let my husband use it...


Phone call #2:

Me: Blockbuster in XXXXX, how may I help you?
Cust: (long run-on sentence) OMG, I brought a bunch of movies to (videostore across town) and now I'm being charged a whole lot of money and I brought them back on time, just not to the right place, and I don't think it's fair everyone makes mistakes and now you're being unfaaaaaaiir and that's not good business and I never dooooooo this and that's just not riiiiiiiight and now I have a collections letter and you should reconsiiiiiiiiiider cuz that's really not faaaaaair and can't I get forgiiiiiiiiiiveness?

Me: *?

Cust: Hello?

Me: Store manager will be in tomorrow.


But then...vindication!

One of my exes came in and asked me (!!!) for a job (!!!!). I directed him to blockbuster.com.

[Antithesys]

I don't remember the exact details of the conversation, but once someone called in disputing a charge for late fees. And it was an odd number, not one that would correspond to a typical late fee or autosale. History showed normal account activity, no charges of any kind. Went around and around until finally I asked her if there was a store number listed on her statement. "No, it just says 'LATE FEES'." Then I asked her whether that could just be the late fees accrued by skipping a credit card payment.

"...omigosh, I'm so sorry."

[SL_600]

Originally Posted by Antithesys

Then I asked her whether that could just be the late fees accrued by skipping a credit card payment.

"...omigosh, I'm so sorry."

And at that time, did your head explode? Inconceivable!

[Valis]

Customer: *staring at pin-pad* It says "Blockbuster Yes or No.
Me: ...what?
Customer: What do I do? Blockbuster Yes or No?
Me: *turning the pin-pad around* ...it says Accept Price. So that's up to you.

[Gir]

First off, wanted to say thanks for the 60 pages of stories! Great stuff... gave me more than a few laughs.

I guess I'll throw one in then ^_^

Fair warning... this may be a little... out there.

10:55pm wed night. (couple months ago - we close at 11pm)

Me: How are you doing tonight?
Her: Good.
Me: Find everything ok?
Her: Not really. Got any good sex movies?
Me: *a little taken aback* Um.. No idea really... I know we've got the movie "Pirates"...
Her: Well... I just really love seeing people get raped. Usually they get away right before it happens... But this one movie I was watching this little girl...
Me: *speechless*
Her: You know what I mean? Good stuff.
Me: *speechless*
Her: Well, I guess I'll go find something then.
---

She ended up renting the movie "Flock" because it's about "S&M Underground"

That was definately the weirdest thing I've ever heard at blockbuster...

[brucedx]

Originally Posted by Gir

First off, wanted to say thanks for the 60 pages of stories! Great stuff... gave me more than a few laughs.

I guess I'll throw one in then ^_^

Fair warning... this may be a little... out there.

10:55pm wed night. (couple months ago - we close at 11pm)

Me: How are you doing tonight?
Her: Good.
Me: Find everything ok?
Her: Not really. Got any good sex movies?
Me: *a little taken aback* Um.. No idea really... I know we've got the movie "Pirates"...
Her: Well... I just really love seeing people get raped. Usually they get away right before it happens... But this one movie I was watching this little girl...
Me: *speechless*
Her: You know what I mean? Good stuff.
Me: *speechless*
Her: Well, I guess I'll go find something then.
---

She ended up renting the movie "Flock" because it's about "S&M Underground"

That was definately the weirdest thing I've ever heard at blockbuster...

I've had customers ask me before "Do you have family porn?" I was like WTF???!! I've also been asked if we carry porn.

At our store, our Pin-Pads have dysfunctional stylus pens. So I tuck them behind the register to hide them, and as you can imagine, when customers use the Pin-Pad, they try to find the pen. This one lady astounded me:
Lady: *tugging on pen wire*
Me: Oh, just use your finger.
Lady: Haha, I know, I'm not stupid.

Then she proceeded to try to use the tip of her credit card to select the options on the touchscreen.

Last night, one of my co-workers had these girls come up and say they needed a new membership card. The reason being was because the last membership card they had didn't work when they slid it through the Pin-Pad...

[HardcoreKeith]

I overheard this in the supermarket and nearly ROFLcoptered.

customer: I'll take three quarters of a pound of roast beef, please.
ditzy clerk: Sorry, our scale only measures like point something something.
customer: Fair enough. I'll take point seven five pounds of roast beef then.