Brutally Honest Personals

[-pixie]

http://www.esquire.com/brutal/

What would yours be? ;D

[c:nt]

I have herpes, but I don't give it away. I've got fabulous boobs, and I'm only slightly overweight. My skin, however, is embarrassingly loose from years of yo-yo dieting. I have a golden retriever and five rabbits. The dog sleeps on my bed, and the rabbits live in the kitchen. My health is good except for the chronic depression, the two heart attacks I had last year, the sciatica, and the degenerative joint disease. I am a recovering drug addict, a recovering bulimic, a recovering shopaholic, and a recovering sex addict.


Sexual History: Before I got married, I kept the names of men I slept with in a binder.

[-pixie]

[quote author=C:nt link=board=7;threadid=2993;start=0#msg86006 date=1096751032]
I have herpes, but I don't give it away. I've got fabulous boobs, and I'm only slightly overweight. My skin, however, is embarrassingly loose from years of yo-yo dieting. I have a golden retriever and five rabbits. The dog sleeps on my bed, and the rabbits live in the kitchen. My health is good except for the chronic depression, the two heart attacks I had last year, the sciatica, and the degenerative joint disease. I am a recovering drug addict, a recovering bulimic, a recovering shopaholic, and a recovering sex addict.


Sexual History: Before I got married, I kept the names of men I slept with in a binder.
[/quote]

Don't make fun - we have to applaud Fozzie for being honest. ;D

*runs and hides*

[ASM13685]

I'm an overweight, middle-aged underachiever. The skull tattoos on my arms complement my wardrobe, which I call rural proletarian. I sleep on the floor in a sparsely furnished apartment. I urinate frequently and pick my nose. I'm embarrassed that I own a Bible. After a tragic foray into Santeria, I've incurred crushing debt.
SEXUAL HABITS:
Can be summed up simply: brief digital, extended oral, premature genital. I have herpes

lmfao ;D

[c:nt]

[quote author=-pixie link=board=7;threadid=2993;start=0#msg86007 date=1096751262]
[quote author=C:nt link=board=7;threadid=2993;start=0#msg86006 date=1096751032]
I have herpes, but I don't give it away. I've got fabulous boobs, and I'm only slightly overweight. My skin, however, is embarrassingly loose from years of yo-yo dieting. I have a golden retriever and five rabbits. The dog sleeps on my bed, and the rabbits live in the kitchen. My health is good except for the chronic depression, the two heart attacks I had last year, the sciatica, and the degenerative joint disease. I am a recovering drug addict, a recovering bulimic, a recovering shopaholic, and a recovering sex addict.


Sexual History: Before I got married, I kept the names of men I slept with in a binder.
[/quote]

Don't make fun - we have to applaud Fozzie for being honest. ;D

*runs and hides*
[/quote]
;D

[TED]

Contact: dave@esquire.com

dave_37

Age: 57
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 255
Occupation: Graphic artist << see artist
Location: New Jersey
Number of sexual partners:15 to 20 (not at once, however)
Last time had sex: June 1998

im an overweight, middle-aged underachiever. The skull tattoos on my arms complement my wardrobe, which I call rural proletarian. I sleep on the floor in a sparsely furnished apartment. I urinate frequently and pick my nose. I'm embarrassed that I own a Bible. After a tragic foray into Santeria, I've incurred crushing debt.
SEXUAL HABITS:
Can be summed up simply: brief digital, extended oral, premature genital. I have herpes

: ;D

[fozzie]

> >

[c:nt]

Last time had sex: June 1998

He will never get one again at this rate

[-pixie]

[quote author=fozzie link=board=7;threadid=2993;start=0#msg86026 date=1096752321]
> >
[/quote]

Don't frown sweetie - the first step is admitting you have problems. ;D ;D ;D :-*