Customer Type Tribute Thread

[igniteice]

This is my Customer Type Tribute thread. It's basically a thread for venting about customers who are idiots. It's a tribute to them because, in the 2 years I worked at Blockbuster, I did meet a lot of individuals who were incredibly stupid, rude, arrogant, and so forth, but more so than the individuals, I remember their actions.

It wasn't just the things they said. It’s not just what they did. It was who they were. And you'll know exactly who I’m talking about.

Who crosses the line and pisses me off? Everyone, but these idiots below seem to find the “Do Not Push” button on me and they can’t keep their fingers off it!

• Customers with giftcards and/or coupons that aren’t members but demand some kind of higher respect. These guys act like they’re coming in and doing us a favor by handing us a piece of paper that entitles them to two free hours of entertainment. They act like it’s the end of the world when they have to sign up for an account to use said coupon. And if we can’t accept it for whatever reason, they act like they want some kind of ‘reimbursement’ for the coupon, as if they’re actually losing something.
  
  And who comes in with giftcards over $20? Always non-members. The higher the amount of the giftcard, the more bitchy they get. These guys always want your full attention so you can help them take advantage of additional promotions as well, so they don’t end up paying more than they have to. They don’t want to pay a few extra dollars over their giftcard, so they’ll skip a $12.99 title and replace it with a $9.99 title. They even dare to ask you, “When are you going to lower the price on this title?”
  
  Then they come up to you and ask you if you have titles A through Z and what their prices are because they need to get the right combination so they don’t have to actually spend any of their own cash. When asked if they have a membership account to purchase the movies on, they lean in close and say, “Actually, I live closer to Hollywood, I just got this giftcard from a friend, so I’m here to use it up.” Thanks a lot, asshole.
  
• And the customers with coupons that have expired, or aren’t good at this particular store, or aren’t valid yet, they always tell you they’ll be going to the competition now. They always make sure you know that they won’t be spending their “money” at your store. You stare confusingly at them trying to figure out if they actually know what the hell they just said. “What money?” They make sure to ask stupid as hell questions such as, “So this isn’t good then?” and make statements such as, “Well that’s bullshit! That’s a scam,” as if we ‘stole’ something from them and are frauds.
  
• Customers who outright lie to you, then tell you to let them know if they are wrong, then when you actually prove they’re wrong, they insist they’re right. Case in point, a woman paid with a $5 bill the other night to my CSR. My CSR typed in $5, but the customer said she paid with a $20. My CSR called me over to open the register, without actually telling me anything about the situation except that “I forgot to give her the change back.” -- “Oh, okay,” is my usual response. Later my CSR tells me this customer told her she paid with a $20 but my CSR thinks it was a $5. I was in disbelief that my CSR would actually believe this lady, but my CSR was smart enough to print off a history right after and the woman said to call her if the the till was short. I told the CSR hours before I counted it down that it would be. And it was. So my CSR leaves a message on the woman’s answering machine to come give us our $15 back. The woman comes in the next day and pays us the $15 she basically stole from us and then tells us, “I know I paid with a $20!” What the hell?
  
• Here’s to all the ‘Conspiracy Theorists’ and ‘Paranoid-as-Hell’ customers who are uptight as hell about giving out any information. “Why do you need my... [driver’s license number, credit card number, birthdate, phone number]?” These guys are never just renting 1 movie though. They’ve always got a stack of about 4-6+ DVDs. And they’re always New Release or a mix of high-renting BSI titles and 2-day rentals. They like to make wild accusations about how we’ll fraudently use their credit cards. They always ask who has access to them and they act like they know our systems better than we do. They also like to state that “anyone has access to” their credit cards, as if implying we’re hooked up to the internet or something. They older the customer is, the more likely they’ll say something like, “what if a hacker gets at my credit card.” If they’re younger, they say things like, “I’m not giving you my credit card though because I don’t want it on file so you can charge it whenever you want.”
  
  One guy actually read the terms and conditions on the membership form and said he wasn’t going to sign up then. He obviously read the part about being charged for unpaid late fees and unreturned movies. Oh, that’s great, we don’t WANT you to rent from us then you asshole. They always take their membership form with them too. As if they’re thinking, “Well, I just wrote my credit card down – if I don’t take my form with me, they’ll obviously STEAL it!”
  
• The abandoned/unknown son/daughter... they give you a membership card to their “parents” account. You always have to add the account to the system because it’s always been signed up at another store. There’s like 3-4 people listed on the account, but not them. And then they tell you, “Oh, I’m his/her son/daughter, they sent me to rent some movies.” “Oh yeah? I’ll just call the number on the account then and get the OKAY.” Phone number is disconnected. “Whater, we’ll just go to Hollywood!”
  
• The guessing game also comes into play with these idiots... “I think my dad has an account,” “Don’t you have an account?” “Yeah but it’s in [insert furthest store location possible.] (I’m serious – if you’re in New York, they’ll say they have an account in California and vice versa.) It can go on for minutes as this group of 4-5 try to figure out how they’re going to be renting movies. Occasionally they stop talking amongst each other and they ask you to look up an account. “Got ID?” -- “Well, no...” -- “Okay, out of luck then.” Sometimes they try to lie about who they are too. I love this part especially...
  
  Me: So your name is?
  C: Jennifer
  Me: So this is your account?
  C: Yeah...
  Me: Okay I need to update the credit card on file.
  C: Well, actually, I’m Tiffany, Jennifer is my mom.
  Me: Yeah, I know.
  
• Here’s to you Mr. “Can I pay that next time?” You come in here and we bring up your account and I come all the way over to restore it for my CSR and I tell you it’s been on hold for 180+ days and you scream, “What FOR?” I tell you the total – it’ll range from $4 to $60 and you say, “Well, can I just take care of that next time?” Unbelievable.
  
• Here’s to you Mr. “I shouldn’t be charged for THAT!” I had a guy return a movie missing the disc and he brings the disc in 2 weeks later and says, “I shouldn’t be charged for that, I returned the movie.” -- “No, uh, you returned the case, you just BROUGHT in the disc.” Then this asshole actually checks out from my CSR and tries to ask her to pay it next time. But you know what – I’m one step ahead of these guys. After I checked in the movie, first thing I did was bring up the account and hit PAY ON NEXT VISIT.
  
  Nice try though.
  
• Here's to you Mr. "I know why they did that..." These bastards always want to tell you why we've changed a policy. They always pull things out of thin air and after they tell their wife and kids, they turn to you and say, "How's that working out for you guys anyway?" Sometimes these guys like to throw some insults (towards the policies) at you and then they'll say, "I'm just kidding around," as if they hurt your feelings by telling you that a policy sucks. "Okay?"

I'll give some other people a chance to respond... I could go on FOREVER. These idiots swarm into the store EVERY DAY!

Please don't reply to this thread without actually contributing something useful.